Holding Steady (Gloria Falls)

Now wriggling and spilling out of my arms, I know I can't hold my children forever. Much like a river they are ever moving, ever changing, growing bigger and stronger and braver. I can't slow them down as they learn and leap and fall. Like a waterfall they break through my fingers and carve a path forward. I can't do much now, beyond holding steady like a river bed and gently guiding the waters. But as I do, I am carved and changed myself. As these fleeting waters forge a new way, bits of me are chipped away and worn down, tiny pieces of myself being carried with them. I am tired and tattered sometimes; but also refined; more convicted, defined, and set in my way. The holding evolved me into something deeper and more profound, and even after the river has dried up, I will still be the product of the holding. Motherhood has shaped me. It was never about holding forever, but about holding steady, and becoming something new along the way.